I attended the NC Ladies’ Missionary Conference yesterday, even though I had spent quite a bit of time trying to talk myself out of it. But I DID want to hear a particular young lady speak who I’ve watched grow into adulthood from her teens. She now has 4 small children and her family will be going to Indonesia next month with NTM. While she was speaking, I knew why God wanted me to hear her. She mentioned how being a stay-at-home-mom often left her feeling like she wasn’t DOING enough. She wasn’t leading Bible studies or ministering to the aged. But God had taught her that it isn’t always about what we are DOING but what we are BEING. My eyes filled with tears because I have been sidelined yet again, unable to DO much of anything. I don’t handle being sidelined very well, especially after a period of time when I was very active and helpful to others. In reality, I had OVER done it. I told her after the conference how much her words meant to me. I wanted her to know that she was able to minister to me, even though I was old enough to be her mother. What a joy it will be to continue to pray for her family and watch what God does in their lives.
As I pondered these thoughts on my way home, weeping for what I thought I should be doing with my time, God brought to mind all the times He HAD allowed me to DO. Seriously, in the last year alone I lived with my parents and helped care for my mother until she died. A few months later I cared for my father while he recovered from a broken hip. driving 30 minutes each day to his rehab facility for at least a month. How dare I complain that He brings me into times of just BEING rather than doing. I experienced pain during these times of ministering, but the pain did not stop me from doing what God called me to do during those times. In fact, the pain was usually at a level that was very manageable. It was definitely not gone, but I was able to DO and to cope while doing it.
So now I am again in a time where I cannot DO for others beyond a doctor’s visit here or there. I have changed my eating habits drastically, trying to get to a place where so many have gotten, a place without pain. I am not there yet, and I honestly don’t know if God will allow me in that place. But for now, He has be BEING, not DOING. While He has me here, I plan to go over the events of the last 10 months and blog about whatever God brings to my mind and heart. I have always wanted to, but I could not bring myself to do it while the events were taking place. I have joined a blog challenge on Facebook and have already met and been encouraged by many people who have also accepted the same challenge. If I am going to BE, I need to DO it (being) well and to the glory of God. Now is that time. Thank you, Elizabeth.