I’ve been very emotional today. It is Sunday, November 3rd. Kenny and I got back from a week at Carolina Beach yesterday. It was a wonderful trip and I needed that time away with my husband and with the Lord, to refocus. I feel like we are turning a corner. As I said in my introduction, I am a 50-something woman who is caring for aging parents. Turning that corner means I am now helping care for a dying parent. Whoa…new territory for me. I’m not finding a map for this neighborhood either. I AM finding people who have been in this neighborhood before. I occasionally find one still here. And then there are those who come in, just to help us during our time here. I cannot tell you how thankful I am for these people!
Specifically for me, I depend on those in the body of Christ who are here. When part of the body is weak or failing, the stronger ones come by to help. They might bring food for nourishment. They may bring flowers to brighten things when days start to get dark. They may bring prayers, that lift us up when we are tempted to fall to our knees. Sometimes they fly in from MN and do repairs around the house, allow Daddy to go to church the first time in months, or read to Mama.
I am a fix it person. But is this really broken? I don’t think so. It’s different. It’s part of life, this thing called death. But for Mama, it’s just a transition. We want to burst into tears, but she is SO ready. I have never known my mother when she wasn’t in pain. Can you imagine being so close to “no more pain?” In no way to I want to keep her from that! But most of all, she is so close to seeing her Savior’s FACE!! I do want to do everything I can to ease her transition, to give her BACK to the ONE who gave her to us in the first place.
I never thought I’d be reading about the dying process on the internet today. I feel I NEED to know what to expect. Maybe I don’t, but I feel better with that knowledge. I feel like I can support my father better with this knowledge and maybe my sons as well, as this will be a first for them too. If you have walked the streets of this neighborhood, please share your experience with me. We aren’t dealing with an illness where the nurse in me can figure out the next steps. Time is drawing to a close though, when I won’t be able to curl up in bed next to her and show her pictures of her first great grand daughter. I’m going to really miss that.